Lostguy818

I already got past the first week of college and it is surprisingly great. Everything is great, my classmates, my teachers and my schedule. My first period is alway at least nine a.m. That was so convinient since I have to do my daily computer routines. Surprisingly again, it's not that tough. Nothing seems hard yet. Of course, there's Chemistry but still, there's nothing yet that topped some of the hardest times in high school. But hey, it's just the second week. Who knows? Maybe they're planning to surprise us with a very heavy load work of assignments and school works. The teachers were great. My favorite subjects so far are Psychology, Math and Chemistry(?) Psychology because... it's Psychology! Duh. Do I need to say more? Math because the teacher is cute as a button and Chemistry(Lecture) because the teacher seemed to be very smart which is very contrary to our Chemistry(Laboratory) teacher. Sometimes, she tends to look unsure of what she's doing. But I'm trying my hardest to focus. I also picked my boring subjects. They are Filipino, and... I can't believe I'm saying this... English! I know! That's supposed to be my all time favorite subject! But the teacher is not just that fun and... alive unlike my previous teachers on English(Ma'am Mopera, Sir Salvanera, Ma'am Palmero, even Ma'am Glorioso.) The worst part of him(yes. He's a guy) is that he always has this pauses everytime he speaks. It was hard to concentrate with his words. I still don't know about TFN and P.E. because we only had one meeting. But i'm guessing that both would eb fun.

My classmates are great. They are now fun unlike my first impressions of very quiet and studious students. Yeah, they talked now but the intimidating feeling of, like, they always have some sort of surprising intelligence rolled up on their sleeves. Honestly, I'm scared. But so far, so good because I'm one of the students that speaks out in class discussions. I really hope the teachers would be impressed. LOL. And now I can rememeber some names. Our Circle of Nine is composed of Me, Levy, Don, Popol, Raul, Micko, Gerard, Joana and Faye. They said that Mary Anne and Famella was now a part of the circle. Jaja was too, I think. In the whole class, Jaja was the one that I'm really interested in. Of course, she's from New Jersey. I could ask her some questions about the life there. She could help me big time. And fortunately, I have 3(?) classes that I'm sitting beside her. I can also remember Jenny, Jean, Eva(?) or Fonda(I forgot. LOL), CM, Geo, there's more. I just can't think right now. Probably because it's 8:15 and I'll have my first period on 9:30. Goota go! Bye!

So, I just had my first day in college. It was, well, I don't know. The night before we watched Drag Me To Hell. That sort of kept my mind away from thinking about college but then later, when I'm already lying on my bed, I just can't sleep. I just hated that. I'm always having a hard time trying to sleep at times like this. I just can't help thinking about what if's. Eventually, I 'forced' myself to sleep after a cockroach attacked me. It flew right into my cheek! Think of it. The horror *shudders*. I woke up by 5 am because I still have to go on my daily computer work like e-mails, social accounts and a little bit of writing. My first period was on 7:30, so I left the house by 7:15. On the road, unfortunately, was an annoying traffic. The clock is ticking and it is nearly 7:30. I grew nervous. I appreciated the driver's effort though. He had several attempts to overtake some of the vehicles. After arriving by the school gates, I didn't even bother checking the time. As I walked briskly to my building, I talked to some professors from the Allied Medicine. I recognized it was the Dean. I greeted her good morning and asked her where does the freshmen stay. She told me to go straight to the building, so I did.

I changed my pace. This time, I walked slowly, looking for people I know. It was so stupid of me because all of my previous schoolmates don't have their first period until 8:30. I stood a few feet away from the building where other nursing students on their uniforms(higher years. Yikes.) are all over the place. I froze. I hate this, I told myself. Crap, crap, crap, I continued saying to myself as I see people looking at me. I feel so awkward and socially incapable. Luckily, I saw two girls wearing a pair of jeans. Clearly, freshmen. I stood a few feet beside them and I hid behind a van. LOL. I was starting to get anxious when Tita Jo(I forgot what she does but she's part of the faculty of Allied Medicine), called us into the building. I walked inside trying to ignore the feeling that eveyone's looking at me. I know i'm exaggerating but that's how I really felt. Haha. I followed the two girls, walking upstairs, then all I saw was empty hallways. Crap, I told myself. Where to? I heard footsteps walking up the stairs. I turned around to see Joris(an alumni of our high school). I asked her where my room is and she gladly pointed it to me. It was really nearby. I walked into the room and I saw Dianne(Obleada. a friend and batchmate) I walked towards her to say hi, not minding the other 49 students in the room. Then she asked me if I belong in Section D. I said, "No. I'm supposed to be in Section C." Shit. I got the wrong room. Luckily, my real room was just the next one. I walked in from the south end corner of the classroom. I stopped to scan the place for familiar faces and empty chairs. And the 'convinience' of it all, I saw Popol waving at me, pointing to an empty chair beside him on the front row. I wanted to seat somewhere else. Anywhere, just not beside him because I don't really don't like him that much. I don't know. I just get that vibe from him.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting beside Popol. I have no other choice. That's the only seat left. talk about 'convinience'. We waited for our professor. Everyone has their own business. Popol is talking to everyone near our seats, who were his previous classmates from Lucban Academy, some are talking to their seatmates, trying to get to know each other. As for me, I'm just texting my friends, telling them that it wasn't going great. After a while, a teacher came in. We akwardly greeted her good morning then it turned out that she's not our professor and she got the wrong room. The room burst into laughter. I just smiled. Laughing hard on the morning of the first day? In front of a teacher? Uh-uh. I don't think so. I was getting really bored when I saw familiar faces walking on the corridors. It was Kim and Niña. Then some time after, everyone was there too. I felt a little lonely because I should have been there with them. With my friends. But I got over it soon. Tita Jo walked in and announced that some of us would be moved to Section E. First, I felt excited. I might wound up with my friends. But i shook it off, knowing it's impossible.

To my joy, I wan't included to those who will move. Thank God. I really liked my classmates. They all look so... quiet. LOL. Except for those that I already know like Popol, Faye, Levy, Gob and Joana. Seating next to Levy was this guy. I know his face but I forgot his name and next to the forgotten guy was Gerard. Someone from Luisiana and Robin has a crush on him. It turned out that there were scheduling conflicts and our first period might be moved. Either on the evening or another time(morning or afternoon? i forgot.) It was announced that we can spend our free time until our next period. We left the building and sat on the cottage across it. I was hanging out with the sudents I know. I barely talked. I want to come across as quiet, deep and smart. Hahaha. I gave my notebook, which is the only thing I brought by the way along with my class cards and some papers, to Joana. I went to the canteen to buy a ballpen. Tita Jo borrowed mine and never returned it. LOL. On the canteen, there was no one standing behind the counter. I was growing impatient. What if something comes up on our building? How would I know when I'm on the canteen? After ten minutes, a woman sold me a ballpen and I hurried back to my classmates whom I met on the way back. It turned out that they'd be going to the canteen. We walked around a little bit and I saw familiar faces. They are Virgi, Paula, Jonathan, Grene, Danilo, Icon, there were others too. I'm just trired of enumerating all of them. LOL.

The first class we had was the College Algebra. The first thing I gotta say is, "The teacher is so cute!" I mean, she's old and a teacher but she has this way of talking that was just cute. Plus, she has a cute height too. LOL. By the way her name is Ms. Camson or if we like, we could call her Ma'am C. She asked us where we graduated nd stuff like that. After finding out that I was the only one in our class that was an alumni of our school, she announced that I was the model student and that others should observe me. I couldn't believe that for a second. I was so embarassed. The second class we had was Chemistry(Lecture). My first of the teacher was... an awful grouch. It was just her smile. It's like there's impatience or something behind it. We introduced ourselves and when it's my turn to introduce myself, I received an applause after saying that I graduated from our school. I was like, "Seriously. I'm nothing special." After we introduced ourselves, Ms. Laguador(we can also call her Ma'am Awi), our teacher, told us about her. And there I saw that she has a human inside her. LOL. Seriously, I was intimidated the first time she spoke. After Chemistry, it was lunch break.

I went back home, rding with Popol and Joana. I went straight to my room and laid down on my bed. It was exhausting. My next class was on 1:30 which mean I have lots of time to spare. I tried to sleep but I just can't seem to. Then when it's almost 1:30 on our wall clock, I went to our room for Chemistry(Laboratory). Arriving on the building, I found out that our wall clock is so advanced. It's still 20 minutes before 1:30. But I can't turn back right now, right? So I proceeded to the room. No one. There was not a single soul in the room. I went inside and sat down. I almost fell to the floor because of the broken-legged chair I sat on. Luckily, no one saw the 'accident'. After a few minutes of waiting, other year students came in. They talked to me and asked me questions. In my head, I said, "Please just don't ask me why I'm early." Then there was the question. After a few seconds after I thought of it, a girl asked me. I forgot what I said but I was really embarassed. My classmates didn't arrive until exactly 1:30. I found out that they were upstairs. I could've just gotten their phone numbers earlier. We waited for our teacher but no one came until after 15 minutes. Our teacher has this fly-away like hair. I thought it was funny. She told us that she was waiting in another room because the laboratory apparatuses. We went to our 'real' room and I sat beside Levy, Mi(c?)ko, Joana and Faye.I let my arms rest on the table. I laid my head on my arms and smelled something awful. It was the table. Ugh. I sniffed my arms and, yup, it caught the laboratory-ish smell. What I did to make it go away was, I opened my notebook and rubbed my arms on it. It worked! My arms are then smelling like notebooks. Better than a stinking laboratory smell, right? We spen the rest of the class talking about the laboratory apparatuses. We drew them as well.

After the class, I asked Joana to text me before English Class starts because I'll be going to the Headquarters. That afternoon was the announcement of the new officers' designation. I met Jeffrey on the way and we met Virgi, Meng and Claudette by the gym. Henry, Annalyn and Rupert also made an appearance. And I almost forgot, I met Kenneth and Icon on the way too. And so is Kelvin. We all went to the headquarters together and went to a room where the designation was to be announced. We waited for Sir Dator. I grew impatient. My class was on 5:30. The clock is ticking! Finally, he arrived. His introductory speech was quite long that's why I missed it. I have to go back to our building. Jeffrey sent me messages containing the designation. The new batallion commander was Von and the one that replaced me was Dayo. I don't really like him that much. I think, sometimes, he is way too cocky.

I arrived on our building, and our class hasn't started yet. Thank god. We waited for the teacher again. It was taking a long time of waiting so others decided to go to the faculty to ask about our class but they said, no one was there. They went to another building to ask, and they told us that there was a slight mix up and... we have no classes! Yay! I left my classmates and joined my friends and we walked home.

-One Tree Hill-

Last night was like hell. Now, after a cup of coffee, I still can't believe I did it. I broke up with everybody. Really. Everyone except my family and relatives. I broke up with a particular someone, my clique, my best friends and my bestest friend. I don't know but I think its what my heart really needed. Everything has been blown out of proportion that I already considered it unfixable. That everything was just too much to lose and it's going down the drain. All because of me. And don't even try to pull that "It's not your fault" thing. It's just that... I think I know to myself that it really is my fault. The quote from One Tree Hill above is right. Looking back to every post, I realized that I pushed it way too much. This blog begun with me being confused about what clique to choose and which circle do I belong.

I'm a guy who wants to be remembered, but it always seemed that i won't be...
I want to impress people, but I fail all the time...
I really want to make an impact on somebody else's life...
I have friends... Actually A lot...
And that's my problem...
There's the most popular kids...
The kids in my class...
And the old flames.... I miss them so much...
and there's my bestfriend...
and my other good friends....
They're all great, you now...
Especially when they're here for me it's just... it just feels safe...
I mean... i feel so lucky to have them... but still... a part of me says to stick to one group...
But its hard...
To all bloggers out there... Help Me!

On my last year on my high school as a senior, I made my decision to stick with my friends on the classroom, Ototac Aiahsam(Formerly B.M.S) I know I made the right choice. But like I said, I pushed it too much. I went overboard on wanting security on knowing who's real and who's willing to stick with me to the end. I ended up neglecting everyone else. And that's a shame. It's against all my ideals. First, I don't want anyone to feel out of placed or like they don't want to belong. Especially when I'm in the room and I can do anything to change how they feel. Second, do you remember that scene from Mean Girls? When Aaron told Cady, "You know you are just like a clone of Regina." And also the part where Regina told Cady, "You know what people say about you? That you are just a less hot African version of me." Watching it, I thought to myself that being told such things would be a nightmare. Unfortunately, that nightmare happened to me. I think it's almost a week now since then.

I guess, I can't handle it anymore. All the pressure to make the right decision and the fear of the consequences started to get in my head. And it did. Lots of things happened. And I'll admit it. I have my mistakes and I really do have an indifferent heart. This is just me wanting to fix things with myself. And until then... leaving you with more mysteries, LostGuy818.

Penelope commanded her heart to slow down its pace but it just seemed to ignore her. Her heart won’t slow down its pace since her mother told her that they’d be catering on a resort in Uptown, Lonesville. It was the same nervousness one would feel after having a good night of sleep and waking up the next day realizing that you’re about to take your finals in school and all you did was sleep and dream. You’re nervous but you know to yourself that you’ll screw it up and there’s no other choice but to take the test anyway. The resort was said to be privately owned by some rich family. After all, it was in Uptown. The thing is Uptown was like a private subdivision or even a private small town. Well, it technically is, because almost every land was bought by rich families and politicians. The whole place was protected by a wall that only opens on four major gates where it’s like a checkpoint and airport security. What is up with this people, Penelope thought as a guard came to them and checked everything in the trunk and inside the car. Then she remembered some people from Lonesville High School that actually lives there like Amanda. Worse. Ryan. What if he’s on the party? She would have the same image as Sam from A Cinderella Story. But instead of Diner Girl, they would all call her Cater Girl. That is way worse than being an invisible norm. Penelope sighed because there’s no use on stressing about it. A few blocks after passing the gate she saw the private catholic school that Ellie talked about the other day. She said it was the only school in Uptown and children from Uptown were sometimes forced to go there despite its strict and religious policy. Penelope guessed that people like Ryan and Amanda chose the freedom of a public school over the conservative and uptight private catholic school located in Uptown itself. She wondered how they convinced their parents to let them go to Lonesville High School. She could already picture Amanda talking to her father as he smoked with his pipe. “Daddy!” Amanda rushed in the room, eyes half filled with tears.

“What’s the problem, sweetheart?” His father turned around. “Want another new car? Wait. I know. You want a new house don’t you? That’s my baby girl!”

“No Daddy! I want you to buy that school called Lonesville High School. I want to go there. So you must buy it. So they would all look up to me as their queen!” She said with her spoiled brat voice.

“Whatever you say my baby girl.” His father smiled and threw her a five million dollar check.

Penelope admitted that her imagination went too far. Amanda wasn’t that whiny spoiled rich brat. Al least she’s not whiny and definitely not a brat. But she really is rich and maybe spoiled and sometimes bossy. Yet, Penelope has this secret fascination towards Amanda. But not in a mad-and-in-love kind of way but more like amused. It started when she saved her from that embarrassing moment on first day of school. That was the first time she had her period and Amanda helped her. Since then, Penelope held this secret interest about her. Even Ellie didn’t know about it. She was supposed to tell Ellie but they made a pact later that night of the first day that they’ll never get involved with people like Amanda. One of the reasons was Ellie thought it was unfair that Amanda already got high school wrapped around her hands even though it’s just first day of school. Penelope knew Ellie was just jealous but what she’s supposed to do? Ellie was her best friend and she needed to stick with her and their pacts. Some pacts were however, dead serious while some were just silly small ones like the pact they made that they’re not supposed to love the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus. Despite it being silly, they were dead serious about it. They don’t want to be like one of those crazy fans squealing and screaming just seeing them on the TV screen.

It was already past six and the soccer team was still on the field, practicing for their second game this season. The first one, they lost and they’re definitely not sitting around to lose again. The coach was very serious. “Ryan. Where are you?” A woman was talking to Ryan on his phone.

“I can’t go mom. We’re having late night practice. Just tell Grandma I said Happy Birthday.” He shut his phone off without even saying goodbye.

Water break was over. It was time to go back to the field and practice. Ryan loves soccer above anything else. It makes him forget about everything. It takes him to another dimension where it was just him, his teammates, his coach and their opponents. No Amanda. On soccer, it was him in control. Nothing else mattered. Winning is not a choice because for the coach losing is not an option.

The coach called them and they all gathered around him. And without any suspense and further ado, he announced, “Your new captain is Ryan Foster.”

Still, the team was surprised. They taught no one would get captain because the other day the coach told them that he wouldn’t choose a captain this year. No one fucking deserved it, he shouted. But it turned out he was scaring them to play better, as usual. The team cheered for their new captain then proceeded with the practice.

“Everything in place?” Grace asked as she peered inside the tent where everything used for catering was kept. The cooking was also done inside. The atmosphere was busy with the workers carrying plates outside, cooking, preparing the dishes, and stainless utensils making its noise as they touch each other which Penelope can’t tolerate. She decided to leave the tent and explore the place. She justified by the reason that the party hasn’t started yet anyways.

She walked slowly on the courtyard, turning her head to every direction in amusement. The different flowers gave the green shrubs variety of lively colors. The night lights that hang from tree to tree then to the shrubs that guides a person on a pathway. She shuddered in joy and excitement as the evening breeze blew through her hair. The place was a vision she wanted to hold forever. She pictured herself standing there, wearing a long black dress, belonging to a grand scenic painting. She took her camera and snapped a shot. Reality hit her when she realized she was on her casual jeans and t-shirt. Before she got swallowed up to a big fantasy world, she decided to come back to the tent. Her mother greeted her with ten dollars on her hand, bribing her to wear the waitress uniform. Penelope gladly accepted both the money and uniform and headed to the ladies’ room to change.

The ladies' room was beautiful. It was even bigger than her room. She took a while to admire it. The yellow light brought out the shine of the smooth wall and floor granite. There was a red lounge waiting to be sat at by the door. The mirror has these magnificent yellow spotlights. She stepped inside one of the cubicles and changed her clothes. She went out feeling self-conscious. Mini skirt. Is there something such as fear of wearing mini skirts, she asked herself. Penelope urged herself to take a look upon seeing a glimpse of what seemed to be a fountain on the corner of her eye. A tree was blocking its full view. She felt a tug on her heart and before she knew it, she was like a mice following the scent of cheese, she followed the pathway that led to the fountain. The big spotless white fountain seemed magical to Penelope.

She told herself as soon as she realized she is feeling a déjà vu. The fountain was spotless white with the adornment of rose bushes surrounded its feet and four spotlights that beautifully enhances the fountain’s view. Even though starting to be a cliché, roses are her favorite flowers. She’s a sucker for roses. Any color would do for her. But there was something more than that to Penelope with this fountain. Penelope chased her thoughts inside her head. She listened to the splashing of water as the water from the top layer of the fountain poured. In her mind, she saw the exact same thing. It was her vision of her perfect wedding. The two of them, her and his husband stood in front of the fountain with different colors of roses in its foot, facing each other as they exchanged vows, spotlight lit them both. That was the main picture. The main picture she dreamed of since she was a little girl, day and night. “This place… it’s so…” She whispered to herself.

“Magical?” A familiar voice whispered behind her. She felt his warm breath on her ears.

“Exactly.” She turned around, happy that someone related to her thoughts. She looked around. No one. She felt stupid. She thought she started hearing things. It must be her imagination. With one more look around, searching for the guy she thought she heard, she turned her back again to face the fountain.

She heard someone laugh. She was sure about it this time. Behind the fountain was a guy wearing a suit, taking a few steps so the spotlight would reveal him. “Looking for me?”

At first, she didn’t recognize him but after a few assessments she was sure of it, her happy face crumpled in disgust. “You!” It was the boy from the grocery. “You’re the guy that took my chocolates!”

“And you… oh! You’re that snotty girl from the grocery. How many times do I have to tell you? The chocolates were never yours. It was mine. I got it first.”

He came nearer, grinning at her. “Would you just stop that stupid smile!” She regained composure after having a deep breath. “Anyway. Yes. And no. Those chocolates are supposed to be mine, right before your filthy quick hands snatched it before I even had time to take it.” She thought of something quick. Maybe she could still get them back. “I get it. You bought that for your girlfriend, didn’t you? Trust me. She’s not going to like it.”

The guy laughed. “Are you trying to ask me if I have a girlfriend? Are you really that into me?” Penelope laughed, surprised by his arrogance. “First, you followed me here pretending to be some…” He paused, analyzing her white shirt under a black vest with a red tie and his eyes gazed at the short black skirt. “Some waitress, then you’re asking me a trick question that pretty much means you’re asking if I have a girlfriend.”

She raised an eyebrow then said, “FYI. I’m doing my mother a favor. And you did not just think that I’m into you.” She made a face as she shuddered.

“You can deny all you want.” He came closer to her, a bush of roses from her. “Since it’s obvious that you’re into me, I’ll tell you. I don’t have a girlfriend and the chocolates are for my grandmother. It’s her eighty first birthday. ”

Penelope recalled her mother talking about the celebrant loving chocolates. Shit. “Oh.” She blushed.

“So if you want my number.” He took a pen from his breast pocket and produced a napkin from inside his jacket. Penelope’s mouth opened, unable to believe him. The guy looked up from writing and she was already walking away.

“Wait!” He tried to call her. “I didn’t even get your name.” He whispered after realizing she would not hear him.

She couldn’t believe him. He’s just so annoying and cocky and stupid! His stupid smile refused to leave her mind. How dare him to even think I’m into him. She groaned to herself as she entered the tent. She took deep breaths to calm herself. “Hey mom.” She said, now smiling.

“Hey.” Grace looked at her suspiciously. “Where have you been?”

“I changed. Duh.” She said as she raised each shoulder playfully as she played with the black skirt. “There was this long line on the ladies’ room.”

Grace looked at Penelope’s face. “Strange.” Penelope nodded. “Because when I went there I didn’t see any line.”

Busted. Penelope made a nervous little laugh. “Maybe you went to some other bathroom.” She realized she was stuttering so she stopped to clear her empty throat. She widened her eyes then said, “You know, mom. This place is big with plenty of bathrooms.” She laughed as she shrugged.
Grace stopped herself from laughing to her daughter’s strange behavior. “Appetizers!” She shouted clapping her hands to the air. Like an army commanded, waiters and waitresses rushed out the tent with dishes of stir fried vegetables on their hands. “Time for your job.” Her mother gave her a smile.

Penelope nodded dully like a four year old being taught how to do something. Grace left to get some dishes of appetizers. Just don’t let me serve to someone from school. She crossed her fingers as her mother came to her, handing her the dishes. “Now, serve these appetizers to that table over there.”

Penelope followed her mother’s glance leading to a big table centered by tables. She analyzed the table and the people that sat in it. “There?!” Her voice went louder in surprise upon seeing the guy from the grocery, happily chatting on the table. She coughed. “Uhm— I mean. Where? There at the table by the right?” There. That should do it.

“No. There.” Her mother pointed again. “At the center, sweety.” She looked at Penelope “It’s not really that easy to miss.” She gave her gentle pushes. “Now go.”

Penelope felt hopeless. She would do anything to not to serve him because if she did he would think that she was really into him. Worse, he’ll think of her as a stalker. “I smell ten dollars.” Her mother teased her. Somewhere along her thoughts, Penelope realized that there’s nothing to worry about because she’s really not into him. It’s not like she’s going to see him again some other day. Penelope smiled, realizing her stupidity. The situation in front of her settled and she decided to push her luck with her mother’s offer. “Fine. Twenty dollars plus a box of gold premium chocolates.”

Grace stared at her and Penelope stared back. Their eyes locked like they were fighting in silent words. “Deal.” Grace rolled her eyes. She reached for twenty dollars from her wallet hiding on her pocket then gave it to Penelope. With a grin on her face, Penelope left.

She walked towards the center. She felt nervous as she came nearer. She swallowed as she took more steps. He’s not going to talk about me in front of everyone, right? A few more steps away, the guy from the grocery noticed her coming towards their table. Penelope froze. Why was she so nervous? Why was she making a big deal about this guy? He looked away then smiled to himself. She continued walking, telling herself to relax.

As soon as she reached the table, she put down the plates carefully from her hands. “May I ask you what is that you’re serving us?” The guy from the grocery asked her kindly, a tone she never heard from him. She wanted to gag but stopped herself for the sake of being polite.

“It’s one of our specialty, stir fried vegetables.” She replied politely. She glanced around the table. No one’s even paying attention to her. They were all having their own small conversations. She looked back to Justin who was exaggerating about the appetizer. “This is delicious. Grandma, try some of this. I’m sure you’ll like it.” He said to someone familiar to Penelope. It was Mrs. Myers, their neighbor across the streets. Everyone tasted the vegetables then everyone was now looking at her curiously.

Shit.

Her knees wobbled. He surely knew how to get everyone’s attention to her. “How did you make this?” He grinned at her.

Penelope panicked. She didn’t know how the stir fried vegetables were made. But of course, you’ll just stir it in oil, she asked herself if it’s true but knowing her mother, it’s not the only procedure. She was sure that there had to be something else.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Her face brightened with a smile. “I’m afraid we’re in strict orders not to share our recipes.” Penelope smiled politely. “I’m sorry.”

The beautiful blonde woman sitting across the table was about to say something when Justin cut in. “Mother, I think I have an idea.” She told the woman across the table. Penelope figured that’s her mother. She’s pretty but her son, ugh. “Maybe we should ask for their services again next time we throw a party or something.” He paused to look at Penelope then back to his mother again. “I mean, the food is great and the waiters,” he looked at Penelope again that it started to annoy her. “Very polite. Don’t you agree Grandma?” He said as he touched Mrs. Myers hand then he looked at her, grinning. That did it. Penelope was already irritated.

“Whatever you say, my dear.” Mrs. Myers said sweetly. “Can you hand me more of that.” She pointed to the stir fried vegetables.

“Sure.” He smiled and handed her a dish half filled with the appetizers.

Penelope looked behind her shoulders to the tent. She felt relief upon seeing her mother gesturing for her to come back. She bobbed as she tilt her head a little, smiling politely. As she walked away, she asked herself. Did she just curtsy? Her face went red in both anger and embarrassment.

“So you met the Justin?” Grace asked her after coming in the tent.

Penelope found a place to sit down. She was already relaxed on the chair when she absorbed what her mother just said. “Who? Mrs. Myers grandson?” Grace nodded. “You know him?” She replied, surprised.

Grace came towards her and pulled a chair beside Penelope. “I met him this morning. Good guy. Polite. Pretty good looking too.”

“So you like him?” Penelope wanted to laugh on the idea of him and her mother together but she stopped herself before she offended her own mother. She stared at her mother, not minding the waiters that come and go getting the main dish.

“Yeah.”

Penelope almost gave up and laugh but only a smile managed to escape from her control. “Mom. You know I love you, right? But isn’t he a bit too young for you?” She tried to sound considerate. She felt sorry for her mother. She raised her alone, without someone to depend on for help. Penelope tried to ask her about her father but she just said that he left them right after she was born. She said that his words were, “I’d rather leave you than to lie to both of you and myself.” He was leaving them for ‘the love of his life’, she explained to Penelope. Penelope asked her if she knew where he is. To her surprise, her mother didn’t lie. She knew where he is with ‘the love of his life’ but she never told her. She said that there’s no reason for Penelope to find out. Then gentle words from her mother’s mouth followed, “Maybe someday I’ll drive you to him myself.” Penelope was eight by then but still, her mother didn’t drive her to him. But she didn’t feel bitter to any of them. Like her mother said, it was better that he told the truth than make a fool of their whole family. There was no reason to be bitter on the truth. That’s just how it is. It was true love calling him and no one could ever be deaf and ignore that call.

Penelope tried to imagine once what life could have been if her father stayed with them rather than ‘the love of his life’. She could picture a happy family but within her thoughts, many things went wrong with their happy family. She saw him sneaking out just to be with ‘the love of his life’ then he’ll come back to her mother then he’d lie even though her mother already knew about ‘the love of his life’. Then soon the happiness that never really existed, completely vanished, breaking Penelope’s heart that was never really whole from the start because her father never filled it with love. Another situation came to her, but she didn’t know if it was worse than the first one. After Penelope was raised to a teenager within a happy family, her father filed a divorce and left the two of them, having no idea why it all happened. That’s what happened to Ellie and her mother. Both of them ended being bitter to men and left wondering about what went wrong. That’s the worse right? Thinking that everything was perfect and everyone was happy then someone would just walk out of that happiness, like they deserved something more, leaving you with bewilderment questions. What went wrong? What kind of dreadful mistake did you even do to make someone leave you and shatter the happiness and exchange it for something else? Then after all of the thinking, all of the questions, all of the doubts, all of it would be come to the worst when you finally realized, it was never your fault all along. You were only responsible for making one mistake. Believing in a happiness that never really existed.

Penelope snapped back to reality facing her laughing mother. “What’s so funny?”

“You!” Her mother tried to stop herself to speak clearly. “I don’t like him. I mean I like him for you.” Her face grew serious with concern as she touched Penelope’s face. “It’s about time you get a boyfriend.”

Looking at her mother’s serious face, Penelope she laughed. She stood up and got some plates with the dessert, molten chocolate lava cake. The vanilla ice cream with cherry added to its chocolate charm. Penelope decided she would help one to herself then headed to the door. “I’d rather study, thank you.”

“You know Penelope, some daughters would beg their mothers just to have a boyfriend.” Her mother stopped her by the door.

“You know, mom, some mothers would beg their daughters just to study.” Penelope smiled then left the tent to serve the desserts.

Ellie retrieved a box of doughnuts from the fridge and placed it by the computer. She took one after turning on the computer. She signed in to her IM and scanned through the Who’s Online list. She pointed to the name Shakespeare514 and then sent him a message.

Mr. Shakespeare514: hi
Hot_Chick514: hi ;)
Mr. Shakespeare 514: how are you?
Hot_Chick514: fine…
Hot_Chick514: you?
Mr. Shakespeare514: same here =)
Mr. Shakespeare514: I have something to tell you.
Hot_Chick514: what’s up?

The party was over and people started going home, leaving the caterers cleaning the place up. Penelope decided to ask her Grace if she could go home ahead. “Mom?” She said as she approached her. “Can I take the car? I have some homework to finish.”

Her mother held her by face by the hand like she did inside the tent. “Okay. Take care.” She smiled to Penelope.

“Awww. Look at you all worried and stuff.” Penelope joked.

“I meant the car. Take care of my car.” They both laughed as Penelope waved goodbye.

Penelope walked by the lighted path, admiring the place one last time. She remembered the fountain with the roses on its foot. She hasn’t taken any pictures of it yet. She walked towards the fountain and took her camera out of her body bag. After her eyes recovered from the flash, the guy Justin came out opposite the fountain, like he did earlier. After seeing him, she walked away hurriedly.

“Hey!” He called after her. She could hear his footsteps getting faster. She quickened her pace. But he followed her. He was almost running. Penelope felt like running herself but soon dismissed the though as she realized it was ungraceful. They were already on the parking area when he grabbed her hand. “Please!” His hand held hers firmly that it made her stop. “Can we just talk?” She turned around to face him, her face really serious. After seeing the struggle on her face, he let go and she walked away again.

She stopped beside her car when she realized he didn’t stop following her. “What do you want?!” She shouted with all her anger.

“Why are you so mad at me?” He looked straight to her eyes. “Look. Is this about the chocolates? I already told you. I’m sorry. I’ll just buy the same ones for you if you want and—
“No! This is not about the chocolates anymore. Don’t you get it? I don’t like you. I don’t like you, or any of your stupid smile, your arrogance and your stupid accent.” She could not believe herself for telling him. She normally didn’t say the things that bothered her in people. “Why did you even follow me all the way here to my car?!”

“I” He paused to look at her angry eyes. “I’m sorry.” That moment he said it sincerely straight to Penelope’s eyes, she felt terrible about herself. She was wrong to judge him. She was also wrong to not control her anger. It was all so small. The chocolates, his arrogance, his accent, his smile. He wasn’t at any fault.

“Whatever.” She went inside the car and drove away.

Justin watched the car as it disappear from sight. He didn’t understand her. What did her do wrong? Just as he was about to get back inside, his parents was already on the way out. “Are you coming with us to the airport?”

“Can I take grandma home instead?” He said politely. “She’s tired. And maybe Aunt Cecil could come with you, she lives downtown and she could use the ride.”

“Alright.” Her mother rolled her eyes with a sigh. They shared a laugh then he’s fathered gesture for her to get into the car. “I’ll call you when we land.” She kissed him in the forehead then waved goodbye.

Ellie was still online, on IM with Andrew. Andrew said that he has something to tell her and Ellie thinks she already knew what it is. They’ve been doing this online chat for a year now and she knew it would eventually come to this moment. He was different from every guy out there. He’s honest. He’s sincere. He has a heart. Everything unlike her father. He was the guy he was looking for. The guy that could never be like his father. Besides, he was guaranteed by a sign. She always searched for an online name with a five-one-four in their username. Nothing came up until Andrew. She was still bitter but her emotion shifted after a message appeared on the screen.

Mr. Shakespeare514: as strange as it sounds. I think…
Hot_Chick514: ?
Mr. Shakespeare514: i think I’m in love with you.
Hot_Chick514: …
Mr. Shakespeare514: no. that’s not right.
Mr. Shakespeare514: I love you. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, ELLIE ROSE.
Hot_Chick514: you’re just confused.
Mr. Shakespeare514: no. I’m sure of myself.
Hot_Chick514: but why me? Tell me. There are billions of people out there.
Why me?
Mr. Shakespeare514: Love has no reasons.
Mr. Shakespeare514: For it’s the only reason itself.
Hot_Chick514: at least, justify yourself.
Mr. Shakespeare514: you’re there, countries away, telling me that there are
billions of people out there.
Mr. Shakespeare514: indeed, you’re right. But please don’t forget the fact that
there’s only one you.
Mr. Shakespeare514: and it’s you who make me happy than anyone else can make
me.

Minutes passed and Ellie still can’t bring herself to press the right letters on the keyboard. As if she’s already on her deathbed, she summoned all her strength.

Hot_Chick514: but we can’t be happy. We can’t happy together. Don’t you get it?
we can’t be together.
Mr. Shakespeare514: Destiny always has a way to unite two hearts that beats as
one. No matter how long and far it takes.
Hot_Chick514: …

More minutes passed. He waited for her words. Her words of approval. The words that he wanted to see. I love you too. A few minutes passed. Still, no message. He waited for more minutes to pass. He gave up with a frown and a message.

Mr. Shakespeare514: Goodnight and sweet dreams, Ellie. I love you. I really do.

“You don’t have to stay here. You could live on Uptown.” Mrs. Myers said as Justin tucked her to bed.

“I know I don’t have to. But I want to.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll take a little walk outside.”

He was walking down the stairs when someone knocked on the door. He quickened his pace to stop the knocking before it disturbs his grandmother. “Hey cousin.” The guy said, surprised.

They smiled at each other as they friendly hit fists.“Nice to see you, Ryan.”

It's funny how I spend the days now in a routine. I'm really getting the hang of it actually. My days will always start with a bath to wake myself up. I'll eat some breakfast with a cup of coffee while checking my e-mails, recent news on yahoo, my accounts on friendster and facebook. I would do that until nine thirty or until ten. After absorbing the zap of energy from the coffee, I'll get on to my writing. I'm actually happy and satisfied on the way I work with it now. I write everyday, from morning until two pm. There would be some distractions like my mother asking me to do something, a music video that my sister watches on the tv and of course, lunch. I still have to eat. After two, I would be either lying in bed, sleeping or reading a book. Then when the heat starts to get to my skin, I warm up a little bit then do my usual routines of sit-ups, pushups and squats(I already had enough lunges). After an hour or so of continuing reading, I'll take a bath to again, wake myself up. I'll do something else to let time fly by until six thirty like watch tv, sleep, or read a book again. The tv is the least option cause my sister always watch the tv so it's oftenly reading. Then i'll prepare my dinner on six-thirty so i'll get to eat by seven. And that completes that no. 1 on my So That's How It Feels Like list:

1. So that's how it feels like to have a routine for your everyday life. It feels good.
2. So that's how it feels like to have some sort of distraction to the routine you are very used to. (It's about some text messages that caused a huge shift of emotions in me. Emotions that destroyed my stability that I'm trying to keep so that I could write properly. It feels awful and scary.
   
3. So that's how it feels like when you see or hear something on tv or a movie(specifically, Mean Girls) and hear it again(the thought of it, at least) for real, in your life. It feels like deja vu.
4. So that's how it feels like when someone told you to lower your pride because everything you think about is pride and everything was a competition to you. (I know. I don't know where she got that.) It feels funny yet annoying because I think I'm misunderstood and again, where did that came from?
5. So that's how it feels like when someone told you that you have a heart of stone when obviously she has no idea of what my emotions really are. When I told her that she said that she knows what I'm going through and that's not a reason for me to change (leading to no. 6) and she added that I should stop what I'm planning to do before it hurts everybody including myself. I know. It feels weird(Sort of wanted to laugh, yet confused and surprised. Seriously, where's she getting all this stuff from?)
6. So that's how it feels like when someone told you that you have changed in a bad way and she wanted the person you were before back and they're totally wrong about it. What change? All her words were just unbelievable. It feels unbelievable and starting to get me frustrated.
7. So that's how it feels like to get frustrated and start doubting yourself. Then you'll confide to your friends for reassurance but it was already late at night and you have no one to talk to or lean on to. It feels horribly sad that I felt trapped.
   
8. So that's how it feels like when you think that's something is your fault and it's your responsibility. It really does feel heavy.
9. So that's how it feels like when you can't find the right words to fix something. It feels disappointing and frustrating.
10. So that's how it feels like to find yourself on something that started out small and now it's a big tangled web. It feels confusing.
11. So that's how it feels like when someone tells you that she loves you and that you must remember it even though she was gone like she was talking about killing herself. It feels awful with worry and nerves. At first I wanted to laugh because it's crazy but the next day, I found myself waiting for a text message to make sure that she's alive. (She is. Thank God!)
12. So that's how it feels like to listen to a song and read a book and all of it coincidentally fits your current situation. It feels magical.
    
13. So that's how it feels like to be in love with a character on a book. (I know right? Crazy.) It feels wonderful at the same time sad. (Don't ask me who! I won't tell!)
    
14. So that's how it feels like to feel nothing. It was after reading a book. I felt nothing. I tried to imagine stuff with some of the people I really like and I felt nothing. And then it led me to no. 15.
15. So that's how it feels like when you are so wrapped up to yourself and your routine that all the heartache, hatred and love you feel for people totally vanished to thin air. It feels weird. I seriously felt nothing, like blank canvass needed to be painted with colors.

So... all those things completed my So That's How It Feels Like list. Until next time!

P.S. You guys seriously need to comment here. There' s no need for logging in or anything. You could just choose anonymous. It's totally like commenting on a friendster account. And it would be easier to give your reactions. You could tell me you hate me or what I said here or you could tell me how you love the words I used or how funny I sometimes sound. Just comment honestly and I'll comment back. No worries. So if you guys want clarifications just ask and i'll reply back here. I'm sure it would be better than asking it to me in person and seeing my annoying face as I nonchalantly answer your questions. Right? So comment me!

Almost three years had passed since her disastrous first day as a freshman. Looking back makes Penelope’s cheeks flush. She was sitting in her class as a junior when the school bell rang. As she passed the teacher’s desk she glanced at her English teacher. She was a brunette, same as her. Almost the same shade, actually. Hers was just darker than Penelope’s. Her eyes were jet black and she looked really young in her pale blue blouse. “Penelope!” Her English teacher called her.

“Sorry, Ms. McKenzie. I’m in a hurry.” Penelope noticed her teacher frowning but she just ignored it and left the room.

Penelope Walker was caught up on a long line in the cafeteria, still thinking about her English teacher, Rosemary McKenzie. She wished she would look like her in her thirties. Thirty, professional and smoking hot. As she carried her tray outside the cafeteria, where normal students usually sat, something clouded her mind. Her thoughts were taken over by another. She thought of words to say when they ran into each other again since their last encounter. Her heart pounded faster. Her breath faster and shallower. She reached the cafeteria door, swallowed despite of her empty throat. Her body stiffened as the guy came towards her direction. She can’t help but look at him and admire him. His face lit up with a smile he gave to someone inside the cafeteria, his dark blue eyes shining.

Cool and collected. She talked to herself. She had been telling that to herself since the day she fell in love with him. Nah. More like a huge crush.

He was only a few steps away and she didn’t notice that she’d already stopped walking. She just stood there, staring at him. His dark blue eyes stared at her. His jet black hair made up so that it wouldn’t cover his forehead or his pure face beautifully angled with his jaw line.

“Uhm.” The guy stared at him. “Excuse me.” He said. She said nothing. She was smiling like a child who’s staring at her favorite toy on a toy store.

“Oh!” Realized she was in a trance, she cleared her throat. “Ryan,” She swallowed “I’m so sorry.” She breathed out a nervous laugh, completely embarrassed. Well, not probably so cool and collected this time. What kind of girl could even be self-composed in front of Ryan Foster? He’s the star varsity soccer player. He’s rich. No. He’s family is rich but people hear that he already has a small business of his own as a birthday gift from he’s grandfather, so probably he’s rich on his own. She continued walking to the table where Ellie Rose, her best friend, sat. But Penelope couldn’t care less about all those stuff about him. She’s just really in love with him. She told Ellie once that it’s about the way he talks and moves that is so gentle and honest yet, so manly and tough. She sighed as she sat down, hoping that Ryan wouldn’t assume that she’s just another fanatic weirdo.

“Stop doing that every time you see him. You look ridiculous, you know.” Ellie Rose complained, flipping her highlighted dark brown hair, upon Penelope’s arrival no their table. When God gave away all the glamour and knowledge of fashion to the world, Ellie Rose certainly was outside and caught it. She just looks so coordinated all the time. Even though not popular, she became an icon herself. Not to mention one of the first black girls who became an icon in Lonesville High School. The best example is way back spring of their sophomore year, Ellie was the first one to ever perfectly match a gladiator shoes with the right clothes. The day after that, it has been a trend. There’s just one thing working against her though. Her being all grumpy and grouchy to some people. Especially to those who stand lower than her in the social ladder. She’s not like that before, Penelope thought. She was kind and sweet like a character in a children’s book during middle school. Penelope thought that, maybe, they grew apart in terms of interests and ideas. Since they entered high school, Ellie was different. Despite them growing apart, Penelope was happy for Ellie. Ellie has a better social life. Ellie has a social life. Penelope has small conversations, forgotten the next day.

Ellie’s hazel eyes stared at Penelope. “What?” Penelope asked. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just, like, my mouth turns to silent mode when he talks to me.” Penelope glanced at Ryan who was sitting a few tables away from them. A few seconds later, a bright eyed girl with a smile and light brown hair approached him with a kiss. There’s your answer. If there’s a girl that could be self-composed in front of Ryan Foster, it’s Amanda Cross. Of course. Why would she freeze up like other girls? She’s his girlfriend. She went inside the cafeteria which was like a barrier between the two of them. It was this unspoken cafeteria rule in their school. The popular kids with their loyal followers, fans and wannabes stayed inside the cafeteria where they get the spotlight they needed. The geeks and nerds also preferred inside, only because of the air conditioning and they were too afraid to be bullied by the ‘tough ones’ outside. Some aspiring freshmen stayed there, waiting to be talked into the social circle. Ellie was one of them before but eventually, Penelope convinced her to sit with her outside the cafeteria where everyone else normal hanged out. Before, there were only a few tables outside but after seeing how many students wanted out of the drama inside the cafeteria, lots of tables appeared. People who hanged outside the cafeteria were the ones who were satisfied with themselves, some that are too afraid to go inside the cafeteria, the stoners and smokers, the couples who were beyond horny that seriously needed to get a room, some geeks that were threatened to sit there by the ‘tough ones’, and the norms. Norms are the ones who never cared. Their invisible to some people but satisfied with the world they were in. That’s were Ellie and Penelope belonged and perhaps, even Ryan. But he couldn’t be. He’s a god. Guys look up to him while girls drool over him. Yet, he’s so humble and innocent like he didn’t even know any of his fame. “You probably should go to a technician and get your mouth fixed up.” Ellie joked.

“Huh?” Penelope had forgotten what they were talking about after losing herself to her thoughts.

“Oh God!” Ellie made a disgusted face. “Doofus alert!” Ellie coughed after seeing a guy with curly golden blonde hair wearing glasses and braces approach them. She took out a book from her leather brown carry-all bag. She pretended to read it as the guy approach them.

“Hey guys!” He said and sat along with them. He resembled someone famous but Penelope just can’t seem to put her finger on it.

“Hey Rick!” Penelope gave him a smile. Penelope felt sorry for the guy. No one talked to him besides the teachers and Penelope. Some did, but that’s only to make fun of him or to ask for his help, just like Ellie.

He removed a strap of his Spiderman bag from his shoulders to reach for something. He took out a piece of scented pink paper and handed it to Penelope. “I made that for you. It’s a poem.” Penelope started reading it as Rick continued to speak. “I worked on that this whole week. I hope you like it.” Besides from being a total geek, Rick Summers is the only admirer Penelope had in her whole life. Well, there’s Shawn Marx but she didn’t count him because he simply admired all the girls. He told every girl that he loves them then asks them if they want to sleep with him. Penelope shuddered to the thought of him. So, it was really just Rick. Since she and Rick became classmates in English class, he started adoring her.

“This is so sweet of you, Rick. Do I really deserve this?” She titled her head then made a pout, “Thanks.”

“You do deserve it. Trust me. It’s—

“I think I’m about to throw up.” Ellie gagged. Rick looked at her while Penelope made a shut-up face to Ellie.

Rick shook his head then said, “Oh! I almost forgot!” He stood up to show his shoes. “I’m wearing the shoes you said that I look good on.” He pointed to his red Converse snickers.

“Geek.” Ellie coughed and then laughed.

Rick looked at her. “You’re so conceited, you know that.” Ellie smiled sarcastically. He stood up and locked his bag to his shoulders. “Bye Penelope.” He managed to give her a smile as he leave.
“Okay. I just threw up in my mouth.” Ellie made a face like she had just eaten a sour pickled egg. “I can’t believe you’re still talking to that… that weirdo!”

“Give the guy a break Ellie. At least someone wants to be romantic for me. Besides, he’s the only guy that thinks I’m amazing or beautiful, or whatever.” She took a sip at her orange juice. “And did I mention that his poem’s good.”

“No, girl. He can’t be Shakespeare.”

“Speaking of that! How are you and your ‘Mr. Shakespeare514’ doing?” Penelope said doing the quoting with her hands.

“I already told you. His name is Andrew. That ‘Mr. Shakespeare514’ was just his username.”

“Fine. When will you two meet each other? You know… like, talk” Ellie was about to talk. “In person.”

Ellie laughed. “I don’t know! He’s in Denmark and we are in here, in Lonesville. Hello? How can we meet if we’re countries away?” Ellie’s laugh softened until it started to turn into a frown.

“He’s from Denmark?” Penelope seemed excited. “Is he what? Some kind of royalty or something? Oh my gosh. You two could have a ‘Prince and Me’ story.” Her eyes grew bigger as she continued talking. “You get to be Julia Stiles!” She exclaimed, lifting her hands open to Ellie.

Ellie raised an eyebrow. Penelope was definitely doing it again, comparing everyday lives to movies and TV shows.

After a big pause, Penelope resumed talking. “So… do you, like… have feelings for him?” She leaned nearer to her as she waited for an answer.

Ellie wrinkled her forehead. “N, no! It’s as if I will take anything like that seriously!” She sounded so defensive. Penelope could tell.

“Okay! Chill. You don’t have to shout.” She could already see Jane Ronalds and her friends coming. Jane probably already found the note saying bitch in her locker. Penelope put it to her locker this morning. Not wanting to stir up trouble, she asked Ellie to leave. “Let’s go.” They left their table and entered the main building. Right on time, the school bell rang.

“Okay. See ya!” Ellie said. Then both of them put their ring finger on their lips, making a hush sign. They do it every time they separate, meaning that everything said and done the time before is for their own ears only.

Penelope walked down the hallway, still thinking about Ryan Foster. His dark blue eyes. His jet black hair. His smile and the smell of his cologne like a summer breeze. She felt like she was melting. Melting with her love for him. She laughed afterwards, thinking that if Ellie heard that, she’d probably make fun of her.

“48? Where the bloody hell is house 48?” A guy with aquamarine eyes talked to himself with an Australian accent as he scratched his golden brown hair. He was carrying a piece of paper with his left hand and a traveling bad with the other. He looked around and then wrinkled his forehead. He saw a honey blonde woman getting into a Jeep and decided to ask her about the house he was looking for. “Excuse me?” He shifted his traveling bag to his left hand as he approached the brunette. “Hi! I’m kind of new here. Uh… Can you help me find 48 Redstone Street? This is Midtown right?”

The woman went down from her vehicle then said, “I’m afraid there’s no 48 Redstone Street here in Midtown. As you can see Redstone is a street on Uptown.” The guy looked at her as if he is not taking all of what she said in. “Can I have a look at that?” The woman took the piece of paper and listened as he talked.

“Oh. I see. I moved back here actually. I lived on Uptown until I was seven and we moved to Australia. I’m now supposed to live with my grandmother.”

“Maybe I know your grandmother. Can you tell me her name?”
“Lucy. Lucy Myers.”

“Oh, you mean Mrs. Myers? She lives right there.” She pointed to the chiffon house across the street from their position. “We’ve been neighbors since I moved here. That’s our house right there.” She pointed to the two-story house nearby. The house was colored with cream. The color made it look so cozy, the guy thought.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t introduced myself yet.” The guy said. “My name is Justin Reese. And… I would like to thank you for your help, Miss?” He offered a hand.

“Mrs. It’s Mrs. Walker but I’d like you to call me Grace.” She smiled and then took a glance at her Jeep. “I’m sorry. I’m kind of in a hurry.” Justin stared at her beautiful face, wondering about her age. “Well anyways, welcome to Lonesville!” She sounded like she’s on campaign, Justin thought. He waved goodbye as the vehicle left.

Justin thought of Grace as he walked towards the house. He still wondered how old she is. She looked like someone in her late twenties. Twenty seven? But she said she was a Mrs. So, she’s married. He sighed in a brief disappointment as he arrived to the door. If she’s twenty seven and married, she couldn’t have a daughter. He reached for the keys in his pocket. Well, if she has one she must be pretty. But for a twenty-seven year old mother, her daughter must be young. Too young, he thought as he opened the sky blue door. A note rested in a coffee table right before the foyer. “Downtown with your Grandmother, Aunt Cecil.” After reading it, he started unpacking.

U.S History. Most boring class ever, Penelope thought. She’s so used to drift away in thoughts during History class. Drawing stuff and some scribblings. Imagining things. Sleeping. She couldn’t have been better in showing how boring the class really was. What’s worse is in Fridays it’s the final class and if it’s not a Friday, in Tuesdays and Wenesdays, it’s her first class, coming before English. Then in Thursdays, it comes before lunch. Really good timing, she said to herself. Thank God there’s no History class during Mondays.

Mrs. Randall talked about history all the time. Doesn’t she know anything else? Of course she’s talking about history. It’s History Class. This is the only class that she found it hard to maintain an A. It is so hard for her to be interested in it. It’s not even fascinating unlike Math and Science. For Penelope, Math is like a magic trick that she wanted to learn to impress other people and Science is an experience she wanted to live. Okay. Maybe she paid attention in History class before. There’s this one time when they discussed Joan of Arc. She found it interesting because she watched the TV show, Joan of Arcadia. She still knew some facts and stuff though, like that Columbus guy who discovered America and those little Indians settling in first. I mean really. Why bother? She even thought that extra credits should be given for her huge efforts for at least staying awake in class.

Penelope felt like sleeping. She could already tell she’s starting to doze off. She stopped herself. She couldn’t sleep now. Mrs. Randall was on full-time-ambush-recitation mode. One display of lack of attention and you’ll face humiliation. She decided to keep herself busy. She’s already worned out scribbling Ryan’s name on the back of her notebook. She looked around the classroom. By the window near her seat, she stared outside. She was lost outside looking for Ryan in a crowd of boys in their Gym class. Because he’s in the varsity, he’s allowed not to take Gym Class. It counts as a free time. She felt a bit jealous about it. What if I become a cheerleader so I could skip gym? She shook off the thought and thought about his face again.

He’s so cute. Hotter than David Beckham.

Penelope indulged to her thoughts. If Ryan was on David Beckham’s generation, he could have beaten him. Both, in looks and soccer. She just stared at him as he played with a soccer ball. I’ll be his Posh. He passed it, one foot to the other. He kicks it high and played with it with his head, dribbling it then dropping it to his knee, still dribbling. The dribbling didn’t stop for a while. It amused Penelope. Finally he stopped dribbling, and then kicked the ball hard to the goal.

“He shoot, he scores, goal!” A girl seating back one seat from Penelope said. “Isn’t he cute? I mean, not just cute. He’s so talented with soccer and very nice too.” Penelope looked spitefully to Jane Ronalds, their running valedictorian. “Not to mention hot and cute. He is such a triple threat… just like me!” She let out a laugh.

Penelope squinted her eyes, staring at her. “I wonder…” She tilted her head. ‘Are you really a triple threat, Jane?”

“Of course I am! I’m smart and pretty and…” Jane stopped to think. Penelope was now facing her, crossing her arms, forcing herself not to laugh. She raised an eyebrow at her. “And intelligent! Ha! How’s that for a triple threat?!” Jane laughed in conceit, emphasizing her pointy chin. Penelope had to admit. The pointy chin looks cute and smart. But when she laughs, ugh. It looked so weird and pointy.

Oh god. I seriously must beat her. She’s going to be the dumbest valedictorian in Lonesville.

Jane’s really not that dumb, Penelope admitted to herself. She’s, in fact, the smartest redhead she ever saw. But when the time comes that she’s dumb, she’s beyond dumb. But even though, she’s their valedictorian. Penelope was just in second place. Well. Not for long.

“Ms. Walker?!” The teacher’s loud voice made them jump. Penelope could feel eyes darting at her.

“Yes, Mrs. Randall?” Her voice was shaky, she couldn’t stop it. She already knew it. This is going to be very embarrassing.

“Not paying attention aren’t we? Jane, darling.” She said happily as she faced Jane. “Could you repeat my question for her please.” She said. Her words made Penelope gag. Jane? Darling? Ugh. The two of them could live together as mother and daughter if they want to. No one will notice the nonexistent bloodline.

“I don’t want to.” Jane said. The whole class froze, watching the three of us. Mrs. Randall moved away and looked around the room to spot another student to repeat the question. Penelope could hear others whisper. It shocked Penelope. She was well aware that Jane was a teacher’s pet but this was beyond that. Maybe they’re really related, Penelope thought. Or better yet, they have an affair! She called another student. “You! Can you repeat the question?’ The boy froze. Obviously, he too wasn’t listening. “C’mon. Don’t waste the credit that Ms. Ronalds decided to pass on for you.” What on earth is going on? Jane wasn’t a teacher’s pet. The teacher was her pet! She felt the whole class in tension. She’s sure that everyone else was thinking the same thing. She was now staring at Jane, thinking the worst things about her. In Penelope’s head, she’s already punching her annoying little face, shouting at her, swearing and cursing.

Shithead! Cowface! Bitch! Motherfu—

The bell rang. Students were rushing to the door. As they leave to the hallway, Penelope can hear everyone exhaling. Everyone was relieved. She hurried to her locker for the sake of security. She opened it and hid her face behind the open locker door. She was afraid that Jane would tell Lisa and her clique to give her a rough time because of the bitch note thing. She convinced herself to calm down. She inhaled and exhaled deeply then decided to walk to her next class. She exchanged some notebooks and closed the locker door and like a thriller, Jane’s pointy chin was behind it.

“You got lucky this time second placer Penelope!” She talked with her chin looking like it’s going to stab Penelope. But before Ms. Stabbing-Pointy-Chin could talk more, Penelope already fled.

Ryan walked on the hallway when Billy walked beside him. He’s an overweight black boy that wore the school mascot, Tigers. Ryan looked at his undersized pink shirt and then laughed at its print saying eat me.

“C’mon, man.” The boy tapped Ryan’s shoulder. “This shirt is cool.”

Ryan pulled a serious face then said, “I agree.”

“So, what’s up?”

“Nothing much.” The truth is Ryan was thinking about his relationship with Amanda. They just broke up yesterday. Again. Now, they’ve broken up eight times. But Ryan felt like this is the last one like they’d never get back together like those other seven times when they just kiss and make up. “Just stuff.” He uttered.

“Gotta keep it together, man. Ya need focus on the game. The games are coming y’know.” They were too close for him not to notice what Ryan’s been thinking. But still, not too close for Ryan to tell him everything about him and Amanda. No one knew that they broke up eight times and then patch things up with a kiss then celebrate with sex. No one knew how bumpy their relationship was. No one knew how moody Amanda was when it comes to sex. Sometimes, she tends to be like such a virgin, not wanting to do it. Opposite of Ryan who sometimes gets too aggressive about it. All that everyone knew was they’re the perfect couple. Ryan and Amanda. Forever.

“Y’know what? You need a new girl for the dance.” Ryan was surprised. Does Billy know everything about the breakup? If he did, then who else know? “Don’t worry. I’ll find the perfect rebound for you.”

“Billy.” Obviously, Billy has no idea. The only thing he knew was they’re broken up. He must think that their split is for good. Even though Ryan was fully convinced that there was never going to be another sequel of their relationship, a straw of hope still remained in him.

“I know, I know. You’re looking for someone hotter than Amanda. Let’s take a look shall we.” They exit the hallway, out to the school square. The school square is a, well, square free space between the buildings of Lonesville Highschool. Students hang out there between classes and free time. Billy looked around, trying to spot someone really popular. Someone really hot. Someone that could at least match Amanda. Jackpot, Billy though with a grin upon spotting a blond girl in a hime cut wearing a cheerleading uniform. Her hime cut was a perfection. Her long straight hair goes below the shoulder blades and her bangs go to the eyebrows. She has a brilliant tan on her amazing body. Plump breasts and a very fine ass. Her hair was let down, just below her shoulders. “Why not ask Bridgette? Head Cheerleader. Pretty. Single and scorching hot.”

“I don’t know.” Ryan said trying to stop him. It’s just wrong. But it was too late. He already called her and she’s already coming over.

“Hey Ryan.” She said sticking her chest out. What the hell is she doing?

“Hey.” He shied his eyes away, trying to convince her that he’s not interested.

“My man Ryan, wants you to go with him to the Halloween Dance.” Billy took over. Damn. This isn’t right.

“Sure. I’d love too.” She leaned towards Ryan who was still looking away. He felt something soft touch his cheek and he realized, he just kissed her.

After she walked away, Ryan hit Billy’s head. “What was that for?” Billy asked angrily, massaging his head.

“She’s Amanda’s best friend, you idiot.”

The last bell rang and Penelope was meeting up with Ellie at the benches by the school front. “Hey! Come with me to the library.” Penelope didn’t respond. She was waiting for some other word. “Please.” Ellie said half-heartedly.

“I’m sorry, El. I can’t. I’ve got groceries to do.” Ellie was staring at her. “Maybe next time, okay?” She tapped Ellie’s shoulder then left.

“I’ll call you!” She looked back to Ellie. Ellie didn’t budge. After a while of staring at each other, Ellie gave up and smiled at her and made their signature hush sign. Penelope did the hush sign herself and then left.

Grace was talking on the phone when Penelope arrived home. Penelope watched her, trying to find the right timing to interrupt her to ask for the grocery list. As she looked at her, she looked like those women on TV and movies. Those powerful career women and feminists. She didn’t just look like one of them. She’s one of them. Her mother turned around, still talking, surprised to find Penelope behind her. Penelope mouthed the word list while drawing a square with her hands. Her mother pointed by the counter where a piece of paper rests.

“Butter? Check. Noodles? Check. Vegetables? Check. Apples, grapes and oranges? Check, check, check.” Even though she found it silly, Penelope kept on roll-calling the grocery list. She can’t help it. It feels like she had succeeded on something and she’s proud of it. She looked around a little, looking for the real reason she went to the grocery. Premium chocolates. She loves them. No. Love isn’t enough. She’s addicted to them like Ellie’s addicted to coffee. Twice a year, the Midtown grocery has a special offer for chocolate lovers. They’re packages of premium chocolates from all-over the globe. Well, not entirely but some came from Italy and other places too. There’s always stuff like that in the mall on Downtown but Penelope preferred the ones sold in the grocery, with a whooping discount of seventy-five percent! Selling it only twice a year makes it more special. She peered from isles to isles. That’s how their work. Their literally hidden in the grocery. She’s already in the soaps and detergents isle when she came across the large bars of soap boxes and among them was a box with the same color, trying to blend with the crowd of soap boxes, but obviously different. She’s about to reach for it. Her heart thumping. She has it. She’s going to have it in her own hands. As she slowly reached for it, she imagined herself eating them. She’s so lucky.

“Whadd’ya know? I am so lucky.” A guy, golden brown haired, skinny tanned body, with an Australian accent, told himself, laughing, after reaching for mysteriously packaged box.

Penelope saw the whole thing happened so fast, the guy taking the box fast before she could actually touch it. Penelope cracked. They’re gold premium! On sale! A few seconds ago, that box was hers. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The guy looked at her, surprised with her threatening tone. “Excuse me?”

“Yes! You! What do you think you’re doing?” She shouted at him.

“Oh. This?” He lifted the box with the chocolates inside. “I’m lucky I found it first before someone else does. I still can’t believe it actually. The timing that I needed something special for a special someone. Wow.” He humbly ran his hand through his golden brown hair.

“No! Look. The thing is I found it first. I was about to reach for it when—

“My hand grabbed it faster than yours.” He smiled after completing Penelope’s sentence. Penelope made an I’m-upset-so-please-give-me-chocolates face. His smile faded. “Ok. I’m sorry. I suppose I don’t to make a lady sad by taking her chocolates."

Penelope smiled. This is easy. “So… Can I have my chocolates now please.” She pouted.

The guy paused for a while, as if thinking. He made a tsk sound. “No. Still no.’"He laughed. He came closer to her face, revealing his glowing aquamarine eyes, then whispered, “I took it first and you just have to get over it.” Hi grinned then turned his heel, walked away.

Penelope forced herself to relax, went to the counter to pay then left using her bike. His accent. His stupid smile. The box in his hands full of premium chocolates that were sold on sale. Worse. Only sold for low price just twice a year. The thoughts went on as Penelope got angrier. She left the bike leaning on the garage wall and stomped her way inside the house. She went straight to the kitchen where her mother smiled at her fondly. Penelope stared suspiciously at her mother as she put the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter. “You can stop smiling now.” She put her hands to her waist, as if she was the mother. “What do you want?”

“Nothing. I just thought that maybe you could help me tonight.” Penelope rolled her eyes. “One of my waitresses is sick. There’s no other option.”

“Figures.”

“Did you say something?”

She smiled. “Pictures. I said ‘pictures’. I’ll bring my camera to take pictures, just in case.”

Penelope went up to her room to get her camera. There’s no need to change, she thought. Her mother would probably make her change into one of the waitress’s uniform anyways. Penelope found herself in her mother’s car, driving to the opposite direction Penelope thought they would be going. That moment, she knew something would happen but she just can’t seem to put her finger on it.