Lostguy818

It's funny how I spend the days now in a routine. I'm really getting the hang of it actually. My days will always start with a bath to wake myself up. I'll eat some breakfast with a cup of coffee while checking my e-mails, recent news on yahoo, my accounts on friendster and facebook. I would do that until nine thirty or until ten. After absorbing the zap of energy from the coffee, I'll get on to my writing. I'm actually happy and satisfied on the way I work with it now. I write everyday, from morning until two pm. There would be some distractions like my mother asking me to do something, a music video that my sister watches on the tv and of course, lunch. I still have to eat. After two, I would be either lying in bed, sleeping or reading a book. Then when the heat starts to get to my skin, I warm up a little bit then do my usual routines of sit-ups, pushups and squats(I already had enough lunges). After an hour or so of continuing reading, I'll take a bath to again, wake myself up. I'll do something else to let time fly by until six thirty like watch tv, sleep, or read a book again. The tv is the least option cause my sister always watch the tv so it's oftenly reading. Then i'll prepare my dinner on six-thirty so i'll get to eat by seven. And that completes that no. 1 on my So That's How It Feels Like list:

1. So that's how it feels like to have a routine for your everyday life. It feels good.
2. So that's how it feels like to have some sort of distraction to the routine you are very used to. (It's about some text messages that caused a huge shift of emotions in me. Emotions that destroyed my stability that I'm trying to keep so that I could write properly. It feels awful and scary.
   
3. So that's how it feels like when you see or hear something on tv or a movie(specifically, Mean Girls) and hear it again(the thought of it, at least) for real, in your life. It feels like deja vu.
4. So that's how it feels like when someone told you to lower your pride because everything you think about is pride and everything was a competition to you. (I know. I don't know where she got that.) It feels funny yet annoying because I think I'm misunderstood and again, where did that came from?
5. So that's how it feels like when someone told you that you have a heart of stone when obviously she has no idea of what my emotions really are. When I told her that she said that she knows what I'm going through and that's not a reason for me to change (leading to no. 6) and she added that I should stop what I'm planning to do before it hurts everybody including myself. I know. It feels weird(Sort of wanted to laugh, yet confused and surprised. Seriously, where's she getting all this stuff from?)
6. So that's how it feels like when someone told you that you have changed in a bad way and she wanted the person you were before back and they're totally wrong about it. What change? All her words were just unbelievable. It feels unbelievable and starting to get me frustrated.
7. So that's how it feels like to get frustrated and start doubting yourself. Then you'll confide to your friends for reassurance but it was already late at night and you have no one to talk to or lean on to. It feels horribly sad that I felt trapped.
   
8. So that's how it feels like when you think that's something is your fault and it's your responsibility. It really does feel heavy.
9. So that's how it feels like when you can't find the right words to fix something. It feels disappointing and frustrating.
10. So that's how it feels like to find yourself on something that started out small and now it's a big tangled web. It feels confusing.
11. So that's how it feels like when someone tells you that she loves you and that you must remember it even though she was gone like she was talking about killing herself. It feels awful with worry and nerves. At first I wanted to laugh because it's crazy but the next day, I found myself waiting for a text message to make sure that she's alive. (She is. Thank God!)
12. So that's how it feels like to listen to a song and read a book and all of it coincidentally fits your current situation. It feels magical.
    
13. So that's how it feels like to be in love with a character on a book. (I know right? Crazy.) It feels wonderful at the same time sad. (Don't ask me who! I won't tell!)
    
14. So that's how it feels like to feel nothing. It was after reading a book. I felt nothing. I tried to imagine stuff with some of the people I really like and I felt nothing. And then it led me to no. 15.
15. So that's how it feels like when you are so wrapped up to yourself and your routine that all the heartache, hatred and love you feel for people totally vanished to thin air. It feels weird. I seriously felt nothing, like blank canvass needed to be painted with colors.

So... all those things completed my So That's How It Feels Like list. Until next time!

P.S. You guys seriously need to comment here. There' s no need for logging in or anything. You could just choose anonymous. It's totally like commenting on a friendster account. And it would be easier to give your reactions. You could tell me you hate me or what I said here or you could tell me how you love the words I used or how funny I sometimes sound. Just comment honestly and I'll comment back. No worries. So if you guys want clarifications just ask and i'll reply back here. I'm sure it would be better than asking it to me in person and seeing my annoying face as I nonchalantly answer your questions. Right? So comment me!